Wednesday, January 8

01/08/2009 at 1:22 pm (Uncategorized)

I went to a meditation meeting that was weird.  About sixteen of us met in a conference room and broke up into smaller groups that met in little sitting rooms. My group consisted of me and three guys. We sat on a couch and some chairs. One of the guys dimmed the lights. The woman running the meeting started playing an audiotape that got piped it into each of the rooms. The tapes reminded me of “Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley.” “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.” Two fifteen-minute tapes were played. Both were soothing and disturbingly pleasant.

When the tapes finished, our group took turns commenting on what we got out of them. Turns out I was the only one who’d been to more than two meetings.

“How do we end this meeting?” a middle-aged guy asked. “Do we just leave?”

“Every meeting I’ve been to so far has closed with The Lord’s Prayer,” I said. “We stand in a circle, hold hands, and recite it.”

Our group stood in a circle, held hands, and recited The Lord’s Prayer.

“Then what usually happens is everyone says, ‘Keep coming back it works if you work it sober,’” I said. “Then it’s done.”

A crusty old guy who looked like Alan Ginsburg fidgeted and cleared his throat. “I don’t like that gung-ho, rah-rah stuff. I don’t go in for that sort of group cheerleading kind of thing.” He glanced at us through thick horn-rimmed glasses. His eyes were focused in different directions.

“Well, that’s just what they do,” I said.

“Yeah, well I don’t go for that stuff,” he said gruffly.

A young guy said, “Oh, well, if that’s what they do, it’s kind of nice.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t go in for that,” Ginsburg growled.

I looked at the young guy and shrugged. He looked at me and shrugged. The four of us looked at each other for a moment and we left.